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Unless your friend is playing
1. WOW
2. On the same server
3. the same faction (alliance/horde)
4. running Carbonite
we have no way of communicating with him.
I'm not sure if there's even an API for the RealID that is exposed to us. I can see this would be convenient to just use the RealID and not have to 'friend' every character your friends play but to can see how that would mean you don't need to add all the alts for you friends but it's probably not something we'll be looking at any time soon.
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-Haavok
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