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Oh forgot to say... I also hate when people go too far the other way. Yes, gear makes a difference. And if you've been 80 for any period of time and haven't managed to get some badge pieces, heroic pieces, crafted pieces, (and assuming you've had some time to play), I'll assume you're lazy. If you have epic gear, but don't gem or enchant it, I'll wonder why I should give you any more epics, since you can't take care of the ones you already have. If you try to join a raid higher than Naxx or Archevon while wearing more than a green or two, yes, I'll reject you outright. Do the work first, don't think skill can totally replace having the right tools at your disposal as well.
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