A Strange Thing Happened Today

[us2006027321]

I'm a guild leader of two very loosely organized social/leveling guilds. I like to be as nice as possible to all my guildies by doing the standard stuff: free ports, free runs, etc. I'm also pretty careful with what I do and don't let fly in guild chat as I'm fully aware that kids play the game, and while I may not ask them to identify themselves as minors or adults, I don't think it's bad to assume that kids are present. (I think that's especially true for my Alliance guild since we all know Alliance are a bunch of 12 year olds. I jest.)

Today, one of my guildies informed me it was his birthday, so I sent him a bunch of stuff (a couple pieces of new gear and some glyphs). It was purchased with in-game gold and sent through the in-game mail. About two hours later, I get a whisper from his character claiming to be his parents all about how I shouldn't be using WoW to prowl for 9 year old boys and using game loot to lure them into a predatory trap. As the speech patterns, message post rate, punctuation, and grammar were very different from that which is typical to the player, I'm guessing this wasn't him just being weird. Needless to say, the character got removed from the guild, and I'm on his ignore list.

I'm sad! I haven't behaved any differently to him than I would any other guildy, and I was just being nice... Is it really that creepy for me to send stuff to someone on in-game mail for their birthday? Do I need to start asking people's ages? What's the proper etiquette here?

[Torhal]

From what you just described, I'm going to make an assumption.

Kid plays WoW unsupervised.
He tells you it's his birthday. You send him stuff.
He gets excited, and his parents ask WTF is going on. He tells them. Having no clue what goes on in WoW, since he plays it without supervision, and hearing horror stories on the news, they assume the worst.

I chalk it up to a case of dumbassitis on the part of the parents.

[Padd]

I honestly wouldn't feel bad, if I were you. Parents take a lot of care when it comes to the internet now, with all the media scaremongering about child predators. There have been a lot of cases of "parents" intervening an online friendship, or guildship, even one closer to home, with a families leveling guild (much like your own) where my brother-in-law and sister played together and ran a guild, to which a parent accused my sister (yes, sister!) of being an online predator.

I say, just keep doing what you're doing and let it go, it is honestly not your fault.

[Zyonin]

Sounds like a classic case of not so Net/MMO savvy parents overreacting. Likely they don't supervise what their kid does on the Internet and they believe all the crap that the media shovels out these days. Sad case. About the only you can do is move on.

I am a parent myself, however I am also better prepared to deal with issues like this, in part because I am a gamer and I am net savvy, plus I take my news with a HUGE grain of salt (you need one of those giant mine dump trucks).

[Tithulta]

Wow that would have tripped me out as well. I have 3 nephews who play that are under 12 yr old and one thats 17.

As one can guess the 17 yr old is an awesome gamer with great guild etiquette.

The 11 yr old is still kiddie in that he wants the bright ans shiney stuff(blue an purples), but doesn't swipe gold from cousins, grandpa(yes he 60), dad(33..bro inlaw), mom/aunt(38..my sis) or uncle(33..me).

The 10 yr old earns his own stuff as well and asks to borrow gold or if he can have [blue or purple item].

9 yr old....OMG he has caused so many family arguments it isnt even funny. We've told him til we're blue in the face that grabbing our gold to buy his new shiny til i've banned him from playing on my account at all. I kno blizz doesnt like that, but who can afford 8 accounts?

They play semi supervised. Meaning someone is looking over their shoulder part of the time, but they are self supervised more than they should. Too much noise for anyone over 30 im sure.

I just make the assumption the Presidents daughters are playing and that I don't want SS to show up an arrest me.

[MidgetMage55]

Sounds very much like a case of parents letting the computer be the baby sitter and not being aware of what their child is involved in. Then flying off the handle and over-reacting when they can correlate some action to something they read or heard in the news.

I have 2 kids of my own. 6 and 9 years old. My oldest likes to play WoW at my house and his mothers house and there are restrictions as to what he is allowed to do unsupervised within the game. We basically disable his chat channels unless we are there with him. Not that he wants to take the time to talk to people anyway. Hes 9 he just wants to make tons of characters and kill stuff. The one time he did want to join a guild i sat with him and watched the guild chat a few days and deemed they were nice people and continued to sit with him when he chose to play that character.

Caution is never a bad idea but in this case its not caution its a plain knee jerk on the parents part. If they were doing the right thing by their children and letting them experience the game (or anything else for that matter) and meet truly nice people under supervision things like this wouldn't be an issue.

Just let it slide my friend. In an age where many parents rely on electronic baby sitters you have to expect that there will be plenty of people who freak out because they arent involved in what their kids are doing.

P.S.

Is it really that creepy for me to send stuff to someone on in-game mail for their birthday? Do I need to start asking people's ages? What's the proper etiquette here?

No its not creepy at all. Then again from what i know of you i fully understand its simply a gesture of kindness. Asking age wont make much of a difference since people can (and do) lie about such things especially on the interwebz. Just go with your gut. If you think someone you wish to send b-day gifts too in game might have parents that will react like this then dont send them. Maybe just a nice Happy Birthday game mail or get the guildies online to sing to them as a gesture of kindness. No reason to stop being who you are over this. =)

[voodoodad]

Unfortunately, you just can't afford to be nice to strangers anymore. Total indifference is the only way to be safe from things like this. I'm not saying it's right, by any means. Just the way it is.

[Imakefood]

Originally Posted by us2006027321 I'm a guild leader of two very loosely organized social/leveling guilds. I like to be as nice as possible to all my guildies by doing the standard stuff: free ports, free runs, etc. I'm also pretty careful with what I do and don't let fly in guild chat as I'm fully aware that kids play the game, and while I may not ask them to identify themselves as minors or adults, I don't think it's bad to assume that kids are present. (I think that's especially true for my Alliance guild since we all know Alliance are a bunch of 12 year olds. I jest.) Today, one of my guildies informed me it was his birthday, so I sent him a bunch of stuff (a couple pieces of new gear and some glyphs). It was purchased with in-game gold and sent through the in-game mail. About two hours later, I get a whisper from his character claiming to be his parents all about how I shouldn't be using WoW to prowl for 9 year old boys and using game loot to lure them into a predatory trap. As the speech patterns, message post rate, punctuation, and grammar were very different from that which is typical to the player, I'm guessing this wasn't him just being weird. Needless to say, the character got removed from the guild, and I'm on his ignore list. I'm sad! I haven't behaved any differently to him than I would any other guildy, and I was just being nice... Is it really that creepy for me to send stuff to someone on in-game mail for their birthday? Do I need to start asking people's ages? What's the proper etiquette here?

He's the one that told you it was his birthday...
just bein friendly,GOSH! they're the ones thinkin all wrong